


Chronicles of The Muggleborn Mafia

by VioletVolpe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BAMF Dean Thomas, BAMF Hermione Granger, Bigotry, Bigotry made her do it, Blackmail, Cedric Diggory Lives, Crack, Dandy!Cedric Diggory, F/M, Hermione started a mafia, Hogwarts Politics, Humor, I'm not saying he's a pimp but I'm also not saying he isn't, Improper use of potions, It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You, M/M, Mob Lord!Hermione Granger, Muggleborns are out to get them, Multi, No nonsense Hermione Granger, Poor Cedric Diggory, Right Hand!Dean Thomas, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Smoking, Underage Violence, Underling!Colin Creevey, money problems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 125
Words: 17,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23838478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletVolpe/pseuds/VioletVolpe
Summary: Influence talked in this country. Influence was power and power came from money. Hermione would just have to amass so much money the Purebloods would beg to talk with her instead of down at her. Hermione was many things but a wallflower wasn't one of them.--When Hermione decides to take matters into her own hands to fix Magical Great Britain, the first thing to come to mind wasn't creating a mafia but man if it didn't work just fine.[A 500 words or less series]
Comments: 19
Kudos: 131





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my first series on Ao3. It took me a long time to decide what fic to post here but HP has always been dear to my heart so here it is!
> 
> This fic is exactly what it sounds like: Hermione is going to create an illegal underground network for muggleborns. That means you should really read the tags because we're going full-on drugs, sex, and alcohol. Don't say you weren't warned. 
> 
> That said enjoy this crazy ride!

I observe the people around me. I catch Dean's eyes and mouth 'later' to him. It was just a matter of waiting now.  
We meet up hours later in a dark corner of the Gryffindor common room.  
"You got the goods?" I ask him.  
Dean passes me a bag in response. "Everything is counted for Hermione."  
I check the bag to be sure and smile at the contents. "Good. We're beginning tomorrow. We'll start with _that_."  
"You mean..."  
"Nothing gets an underground network going faster than card games. Plus, who doesn't love UNO?"


	2. Chapter 2

I stared determined at my cards. There was no way I would lose to _Dean_.

I look at the card in the center and then at my hand. I play my card. “Plus Two. Miss your turn, red Skip, Reverse, and boom Uno!”

Dean stared between the cards on the pile and at me before cursing up a storm. “Damn you, Granger.”

I smile. No one played Uno better than me. I even had my sleeves rolled up.

“What are you guys playing?”

My smile grew even bigger when Lavender came up to us.

“UNO wanna play?”


	3. Chapter 3

Dean explained the rules to Lavender while I shuffled the cards. With Lavender on board, the whole school would know by dinner time.

“So, you guys play with stakes?”

“Yup. Anything goes. Like a Chocolate Frog for two Sugar Quills. Or Skittles for a Hershey bar.” Said Dean.

“Skeetle? Hershey?”

“Muggle candy. I have some now if you want to try.” I offered her a bar of milk chocolate. A staple in the Muggle world. ‘Course me and Dean had all sorts of interesting items to ‘trade’. We needed something to market and what better to start with than candy?

Everybody loves candy.


	4. Chapter 4

“Lavender?”

“Not now Parvati. I'm about to win me some Hershey!”

Dean and I share a look. Card games and candy were definitely the keys to creating an underground.

“What's Hershey?” Parvati asked.

“Muggle chocolate, very good. I recommend it.” Lavender responded.

Second Gossip Queen bagged. “Ohh I want to try.”

“Sorry, Parvati these are our last bars. But you can play us for it.”

Parvati deflated but she bounced back up at the invitation. All Gryffindors would. “Okay. How do you even play?”

“It’s very simple,” I purr. Very simple indeed.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time lunch rolled around Lavender had won two rounds and Parvati one. Both were happy with their loots and Dean and I were celebrating our success.

Dean knocked his Coke with my Sprite. “Both Parvati _and_ Lavender? The whole school will know by the end of lunch!”

In our little corner, I could let my smirk spread. “I know.”

“This was a genius idea Hermione.”

“I know.” I took a sip.

“We'll be rich.”

My smile grew impossibly big. “I know.”

I face him fully, clicking our drinks again. “Welcome Dean, to the Muggleborn Mafia.”


	6. Chapter 6

Dean and I walked together to lunch. I wasn't hungry but we could only benefit from the publicity that the Gossip Queens would create for us.

“Hey, Dean! Come here.”

Dean goes sit with Seamus and I slip into my regular seat with the boys.

Ron kept shoving food in his mouth, but Harry nodded at me before eating at a more leisure pace.

“Where were you, Hermione? I was looking for you in the library.”

I smile at Ginny and answer. “I was playing cards with Dean and the Gossip Queens.”

Ron snorted. “You? Playing cards?”

“Everybody loves UNO.”


	7. Chapter 7

I give them a rundown of the game and the rules plus the stipulation to bet.

“But why bet?” I smile indulgently at Ginny.

“Because it makes things more interesting.”

“But candy?”

“Or whatever the players deem of equal value.”

“Is candy the currency because I’m interested but have no candy?”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “No Harry. Anything goes but if you want, I can sell you candy.”

“Not give?”

“I gotta make a living here Potter.”


	8. Chapter 8

Things were looking up for me and Dean. By now all the Hogwarts students would know about the game and we had three more interested participants plus whoever Dean attracted.

“Look what I found!”

Ginny, Ron, Harry, Lavender, Parvati, and I look up with Dean’s declaration.

“Candy! I forgot I had another box.”

I hold my snort as Dean and Seamus walk to us.

“Who’s buying?”


	9. Chapter 9

The cards were shuffled and distributed, all that was left was for Harry to make the first move.

He picked a Snickers bar and placed it in the middle of the table. I throw my least favorite candy in, Reese’s Cups. Skittles, Simply Caramels, even Cookies n’ Creams are thrown into the mix. It was going to be a good game. It was a shame I had to purposely lose. Cookies n’ Cream was an excellent way to celebrate our success.

I look at Dean and nod at him to start the game. Things were starting to get interesting.


	10. Chapter 10

The first few games no one really stood out as they were still getting used to the rules. That changed however when Dean and I started dominating all the candy.

“Bloody hell. Stop hogging all the candy you two!”

I drop my last card on the pile. “Uno out.” I pull this round’s winning towards me and smile at the irritate looks. “If you don't want me to hog the candy then maybe you should play to _win_.”

Ron glares and I throw another candy bar in. A fire had been ignited. I just had to make the flames grow.


	11. Chapter 11

Hours later, the candy pile had slowly but surely gotten smaller. It had been eaten and replaced by Dean and I until the entire two boxes were gone. The more enthusiastic our game grew the more observers we attracted. They started cheering and rooting for us and and even making bets off their own. That was good. People were interested and interested people meant they would _pay_.

I threw my cards down. “I'm done. I'm nearly out of candy anyways.”

Beside me Dean hummed. “I’m also out. Good thing tomorrow's a Hogsmeade visit.”

I nod with him. “We can pick up more candy.”


	12. Chapter 12

The rest of the game played out and Ginny came out winning. Dean and I had made a lot of money but more than that we got _publicity_. Gryffindor house was buzzing with excitement. “Free” candy was always welcomed. This was turning out better than we thought. First candy. Then drinks and favors and all sort of profitable items.

_We could be rich_.

And all because the pureblood idiots didn't know what they were missing. Really, they were asking to be wrung dry.

Dean and I would be more than happy to do it for them.


	13. Chapter 13

“I want in.”

I look at Colin who had leaned down to whisper in my ear.

I kept my eyes on the other people around us. No one seemed to have heard him. “Were out of candy Colin. Buy some more tomorrow.”

“The soda bottles in Dean’s room say otherwise.”

I shrug. “So, Dean has some pop. What's wrong with that?”

I could feel him rolling his eyes at me. “Come on Granger. How would McGonagall react if she knew her perfect prefect was creating a gambling ring?”

The little shit.


	14. Chapter 14

I keep my thoughts off my face. Inside they were all mixing together and drawing different conclusions. The muggleborn mafia wouldn't be like Ludo Bagman and his troupe. It would be honest business (or as honest as a mafia could be) even if we had to force people to pay up. It would also require a lot of hands to pull off. 

“Get Dean, Colin. Let's have a little chat.”

“On it, Granger.”

Colin left and I was left with my thoughts again. Guess I was going to have to up my recruitment game.

Damn it all to damnation.


	15. Chapter 15

After determining that a good amount of time had passed, I walk up the boy’s side of the tower.

Colin’s door was open an I sneak inside. Aside from Colin and Dean, the room was empty.

“What is this about Granger?”

I shush him and wave my wand into a privacy to make sure we were really alone and not being spied or tricked.

Colin was surprised, Dean worried.

I turn to the two boys. “We can talk now that I know the coast is clear.”

“Hermione what the hell!”

“Colin,” I nod to him, “knows.”

Dean glared at the fourth year. “And what does Colin _think_ he knows?”

“Actually, _Colin_ knows that your planning some type of illegal activity. Betting candy – that you sold illegally by the way – just put it all together. You're planning an underground ring.”

Dean stared at the both of us. “Fuck.”

“My thoughts exactly.”


	16. Chapter 16

I nod towards Colin. “You see the problem now.”

“Can't we just- you know…”

I had thought about it. For about five seconds but no. Erasing his memory was messy business.

I shake my head. “Even if we did there be no way for us to hide it from him and no guarantee that he wouldn't ask again.”

“Don't about me like I'm not here!” Colin interrupted.

“First rule of messing around with us Colin: don't fucking interrupt us.” I snap at him.

“Hermione you can't be serious!” Dean cried out.

“Not my first-choice no, but we'll need a lot of hands to pull this off.”

“But Colin-”

“Would you rather have the muggleborns with us or against us?”


	17. Chapter 17

I look at Dean. “Think about it. If – _when_ – word gets out of how much cash is flowing other people will also want in. They might become _competition_.”

Colin nodded. “Hermione is right. An underground ring is impossible to keep under wraps. The less people pissed off the better.”

“Having the other muggleborns with us means that we’ll have three out of the four Houses. If we do this then we have to do this right Dean.”

“But what’s to say that the other MB won’t try to take over? You know that Zacharias won’t hesitate to kick us out of business.”

“Then we differentiate from the rich competition plus we crush Zack before he can become a danger to us. Working with Hufflepuff will be strenuous however, those bastards are too loyal for their own good.”

Dean’s mouth twitches. “Their good or ours?”

“Does it make a difference?”

“Of courses not.”


	18. Chapter 18

“How are we going to do this?” Colin asks.

I shrug. I was drawing up blank. “We’ll have to look at the problem again. And by we, I mean me. You both bring up a good point. There’s the other muggleborns to consider and with three different houses with known MBs we have to make this a joint attack.”

“It’ll be better than fighting for ‘territory’. We’ll have more hands on deck and ears in the ground in case it all goes to shit.”

I nod at the boys and make my way to the door. “Dean take Colin to Hogsmeade and buy all the candy you can afford. I’ll handle the butter beer. And Colin, double cross me and you’ll see exactly how many spells I’ve learned these past six years.”


	19. Chapter 19

That night I barely got any sleep. I had finally risen to a position of power in this school, and a stupid mistake wasn’t going to stop my claim to power.

I grab a fresh sheet of paper and start writing down my new objectives.

First order of business would be recruitment. And an airtight secrecy contract. Perhaps this time people will think twice before trying to screw me over.

Next would be enticement. With plants in three-fourths of the school it would be easier to get people interested.

After that would be deterrents. We would need to come up with a way to make whatever opponents we have succeed for a while before _crushing_ them. As the only underground the profits will just be raking in.

Finally, would be power. Slowly we’ll have gathered so many favors, so many broken promises and contracts that when these same kids enter the real world, we’ll own _them_. If money talks in this world, we’ll amass enough to get the pure bloods begging to talk to us instead down at us.

I really should have gone into Slytherin.


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning I chug down a energy drink and march down to breakfast with a smile on my face. Influence talked in this country, influence was power, and power came from money. Glaring at the world was not the best way to get money.

I slip in between Harry and Ron. “Good morning.”

Ron grunted in between bites but Harry turned to me and smiled. “You’re looking chipper today,” he said.

“Had a good night’s sleep that’s all.” Stop being so damn perceptive Potter. He didn't. Time to throw him for a loop. “I read this amazing book about this girl who is secretly the heir to her kingdom but she can’t reclaim her crown until—”

“It’s too early to be blathering about books Hermione.”

I narrow my eyes at the red head. Well fuck you too Ronald. “Excuse me, Ronald, if I prefer to read about the bed action I’m missing but you will _never_ get.”

Two seats down Dean breaks into full blown laughter while the rest of the House within hearing distance was gapping in surprise.

“Did Hermione Granger just make a sex joke?”

No Neville, I was talking about wards. Yes, I made a fucking sex joke. I said none of that, instead I say, “I was actually stating a fact. When was the last time you got laid Ron? Your hand not withstanding of course.”

“What the bloody hell has gotten into you Hermione?”

Keep the pretty smile Hermione. Glares doesn’t make money. You’re not Severus Snape. “If it’s too early for me to “blather” about my books then it’s too bloody early for me to deal with your shite Ronald.”

That shut him up pretty nicely. It could have also been my twirling wand. Who knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some (who am In kidding) most characters are going to behave OOC...but THE Hermione Granger is planning to take over the country via an illegal gambling ring. Be warned it'll only get better from here ;)


	21. Chapter 21

“Resorting to lying to get more attention mudblood? Pathetic.”

Ignoring the blonde ferret, I cut a piece of ham. “Please Malfoy its definitely too early to deal you.”

“Now that a real man comes up to you, you hide.” He sneered.

I put my food down and give Draco bloody Malfoy a once over. “Real man? Where?”

Those around us started laughing. Malfoy was getting mad, so I continue. “And not that it’s any of your business but I dated Dean Fourth Year. The Twins were fun especially when they worked _together_.”

“Slag.”

“If slag means having standards then gladly. Too bad your big mouth keeps proving that you’ll never meet them. At all.”


	22. Chapter 22

“Oooooh!”

“You shagged your best friend’s boyfriend; you really are a whore Granger.” Malfoy sneered.

If the boy got any louder teachers could start moving closer. I meet Draco’s eyes 100% unapologetic. “Sorry to tell you Draco but Harry doesn’t swing that way. He prefers real girls. Now please go away, I’m trying to eat here.”

With that I tune back to my food and ignore the little shit that was Draco Malfoy.

“Nobody dismisses me you bitch!”


	23. Chapter 23

I twirl around after seeing Malfoy’s reaction reflected in Harry’s glasses. If the bastard would draw his wand then so would I.

“Ten points from Slytherin for pointing a wand at a perfect and another ten for harassment Malfoy.”

“What is going on here Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy?”

“Indeed, enlighten us.”

McGonagall looked disapproving and Snape delighted. The Slytherin head of House would side with his protégé and crew. I let Malfoy go first and dig his grave.

“Granger threatened to hex me simply for walking down this way and then took points off when I raised my wand to do the same!”

I raise an eyebrow. This is the best a Slytherin could do?

“Miss Granger?”

“Obviously Minerva,” Snape drawled, “this is a case of power abuse. Measures need to be taken before other prefects think like Miss Granger does.”

“If I may professor, Malfoy’s accusation doesn’t take into account for his standing in front of the Gryffindor table for at least five minutes. Conveniently he also didn’t mention the fact that I turned away from the conversation or that I drew out my wand in response to him. But please, feel free to ask the other students they’ll be happy to give you their order of events.”


	24. Chapter 24

Beat that Ferret.

“He called Hermione a slag!”

“And a whore.”

“Don’t forget, he called her a witch with a B too.”

“And why would Mister Malfoy have to resort to such name calling if it isn’t the true?”

I keep my mouth shut. Let them dig their own grave.

“Severus! How dare you assume that any student deserves to be called such names!” Called it. “And you Mister Malfoy! You will spend the next month in detention with me. Such appalling remarks will not be accepted in this school.”

“But professor!”

“Did you forget that I’m a cat animagus Mister Malfoy? I heard every crude remark you made to Miss Granger. Now go before I double your detention and forget about Hogsmead till the end of the year!”


	25. Chapter 25

I bow my head to my least hated professor. “I’m sorry you had to witness that professor.”

McGonagall looked like she swallowed a lemon since the sex talk began but nodded. “Ensure that I never have to hear something like this again Miss Granger. As a prefect you are supposed to be a role model to the rest of the school.”

“Yes professor.”

As if the school needed me to get it on.


	26. Chapter 26

The rest of breakfast was filled with whispers of my ‘illicit’ after school activities and wondered who else I’d been with.

Dean leaned across the table to me. “You wanted publicity Granger? You got it.”

“Fuck off Dean!” I hiss. Then I pause. This was a _great_ opportunity to take advantage off. I’ll be old news in a week anyways. “We need to take advantage of this.”

“I have a feeling you were a gold digger in you past life.”

“Colin I’m pretty sure she invented the word.”


	27. Chapter 27

Breakfast ended with some subtle ones propositions and some not-so-subtle ones. I turned them all down but made sure to look intrigued. Specially with the other MBs.

I had the attention, I just needed to use it.

We made our way to the carriages waiting to take us to Hogsmeade. I ignore Ron and snag a ride with Dean, Colin, and Seamus.

“So,” Seamus said. “When we’re you going to tell me you two hit the hay together?” He wiggled his eyebrow.

In turn I lift mine. “Sorry Seamus. I don’t kiss and tell.”


	28. Chapter 28

Seamus tried to keep asking questions, but I only said enough to keep him chasing the mystery. I, for one, didn’t mind jumping in bed with the right guy (or guys) but describe the experience for all to hear and discuss? Never.

I’m a woman to be earned not some little chit for mates to bond over. I afforded the guys the same curtesy.

When we arrived at Hogsmeade I sent a sticky charm to the Irish idiot and said, “if you ever want to sleep with someone maybe you shouldn’t harass them. It’s not attractive. Better luck next time Seamus.”


	29. Chapter 29

Dean faced palm. Colin snickered. Seamus face heated up and it had nothing to do with the sun.

“Idiot.” Dean hissed.

I shrug and walk off to the Three Broomsticks. “As long as he doesn’t bother my operations I don’t care.”

Dean grabbed my arm. “Don’t string him along will you? He’ll be intolerable.” He pleaded.

I give him a look. “Just buy the damn candy.”

Dan grimaced but Colin laughed pulled him along.

I roll my eyes at the still struggling Seamus.

“Boys.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know for sure how many students are at Hogwarts but if it's the only school in the UK and Ireland there's no way each year will only have 40 students. 280 students cannot represent the entire population of a country. I know uni classes that have 300 students. Maybe the small class size Harry had is a result of the first time Voldemort rose to power but for my story I'm going on the assumption that there's at least 300 students per House. That brings the total of students to around 1,200ish which would reflect even the small population of wizards.

The walk to Three Broomsticks was fast. I was a woman on a mission determined to get exactly what I wanted.

“Good morning Madame Rosmerta!”

“Oh, good morning. My aren’t you chipper today.” She responded in kind.

I smile back. “Yep. I’m planning a get together and I would like to place an order of 15 cases of butterbeer.”

She blinked. “That’s a lot of butterbeer dear.”

My smile grows bigger. “Then it’s a good thing they’re not all for me. I’m actually so happy it’s a House thing and not a school thing.”

Madame Rosmerta nod her head. “That would be a headache. I remember when Hogwarts was getting ready for the Yule Ball.” Thank you, smiles and deflection, for not failing me yet.

“Exactly. I prefer to start on a much smaller scale.”


	31. Chapter 31

While Rosemerta went to the back I pulled out a bottomless box to carry the drinks in. The bell chime caught my ear and when I looked up I smile.

Justin Finch-Fletchley had just walked into the room.

I pretend not to notice them just then and mess around with my box. I wanted to work with other MBs? Then this was my in with the Hufflepuffs.

“Hey Justin!”


	32. Chapter 32

I wave the boy down. Justin and his little friends join me at the counter with Madame Rosmerta thankfully coming back with my order.

“Mind giving me a hand?”

One of the boys whistled. “Big party going on?”

I bite my lips. All (male) eyes are instantly on me. “I didn’t want to say anything yet…” I start like I was reluctant to actually say anything, “but you’ve heard about the game Dean and I were playing? We’re planning a tournament and since we won’t come back for another month, I thought why not buy stuff now?” I say everything with the same enthusiasm I am know for around the school. I even add a little prep to my step.

“Don’t worry I’ll pay you guys back.”


	33. Chapter 33

I could see as my words settled into their heads.

“You’re having an UNO tournament?”

Well _now_ I am. “That’s the plan.”

Justin tsks. “And you didn’t even invite us. I love UNO.”

I shrug. “Hey, it’s not my fault I’m still trying to teach people how to play.” I reach into my purse and pull out 5 galleons to pay Rosmerta. “Thank you,” I tell her.

To Justin I say, “Besides it’s not like I have so many decks to spare. But tell you what. Why don’t you have your parents send you a couple of decks and you can teach the Hufflepuffs? We can have an inter-House tournament!”

“Are you kidding me? I don’t know what this game is but I can promise you us badgers can trump lions at any card game.” Says another boy.

I trust a case into his arms. “Then you can trump me at carrying these cases back to the castle.”


	34. Chapter 34

I shove cases into everyone’s hands and stuff the other cases into the box. My love for magic increase as the cases went inside and weighed close to nothing.

I kept the chatter going between us exposing the game to the non-muggle raised.

“Man, this game sounds confusing.”

“It’s really not. When you actually see the cards it’ll make perfect sense.”

“How about a little game then? Just you and me Hermione?” Justin piped in.

“I’m an UNO fiend Justin. I don’t play for fun I play to win.” I say with a sharp smile.

Justin resounded in kind. “I heard the challenge there. Let’s get these cases back to the castle and show you losers how the game is played.”


	35. Chapter 35

Four of us climb into a carriage carefully stacking the cases in our laps. Aside from me it was Justin and two kids I never paid attention to.

“So,” said the girl, “now that we’re all here are you done pretending Granger?”

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”

The girl scoffed. “Emma Walker and this is Charlie B. Fifth year muggleborns but not stupid.”

The boy interrupts her. “What Emma is trying to ask is what the hell are you planning Hermione Granger?”

I blink owlishly. “I told you. I’m just teaching my friends how to play UNO.”

Emma raises an eyebrow. “And since when does teaching involve gambling.”

I lean back into my seat. “Well then. Aren’t you a curious little badger?”


	36. Chapter 36

All three we’re waiting for a response. I had nothing to give them.

“Its not my fault lions are more motivated by winning something than by the game itself. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

“The truth.” Emma snarks. “We’re carrying 15 cases of butterbeer back to the school. Yes, I counted! You’re being too obvious, so you want the attention.”

I tilt my head examining the badger some more. Here was a passionate little spitfire. Could be useful, could be dangerous. “You know the last time I told someone the truth I ended up in a coma for three days with a 10-potion regiment for the rest of the summer.” I stare the girl in the eyes. “You want the truth then earn it. But I’m not lying when I said I’m planning a tournament. Teach your housemates or not. I actually don’t care but if you want the truth then you’ll learn to play by my game.” I open the carriage down and jump down making sure not to hustle the drinks to much.

“I can tell you this much: I’m tired of being seen as a second-class citizen.”


	37. Chapter 37

The badgers followed quietly after me and I signal them to leave the drinks outside the portrait. I thank them but they leave without a word.

“Snoopladaisle.”

The Fat Lady opens the door and I levitate the drinks inside. A couple of second and first years who had stayed inside looked up and I direct the girls to bring the cases to my room.

Everyone who saw me carrying in the cases asked questions but I gave them all the same answer. Tournament drinks. Sure, everyone would know but butterbeers were so inconsequential no one would care. Kind of like me.

Especially like me.


	38. Chapter 38

I went back out for another order of butterbeeer this time from Hogs Head. I’d charmed the original box to hold more cases and charmed a second one to be invisible this time.

Thirty cases of butterbeer came and were paid for. Albert didn’t ask any questions and I didn’t say anything. Plausible deniability for all. Everything went in the boxes and I strutted out. With any luck Dean and Colin had bought as much candy as they could get their grimy little hands on.

I walked through Hogsmeade looking for a place to sit and enjoy the sun while in view of Main Street in case Dean was still in town.

And then I got to writing.


	39. Chapter 39

There were many things I would need to integrate into the contract.

First, a gag order to not go blabbing to the first person they saw and two a secrecy vow to keep the happenings of the ring secret. I will also need different contracts for the minions and our customers. The contracts needed simple fucking language – these idiots won’t get the chance to pin the blame on me if they screwed up. They might not be legally binding but magic was law and I would make them respect that.

Laying down the law now would be easier to enforce than fighting over it later.

“Hey Granger.”


	40. Chapter 40

“Hey Dean. Colin.”

Dean fell down to the seat next to me. “Got as much as we could.”

“But will it be enough?” Colins asks.

I scoff. “Of course not. But it doesn’t have to be enough. Right now it’s all an incentive.”

“Speaking of incentives: what’s up with the Hufflepuffs carrying your shit?”

“Getting other people to do my work. Duh.”

Dean took a swig from his “water” bottle. The smell of whiskey was a strong one. “Everyone’s talking about it. Saying your hosting some sort of tournament.”

I knew my gamble would pay off. “I am. A one hundred percent dry UNO tournament with some snacks and drinks provided. Unfortunately,” I smirk, “it’s only open to Gryffindors which is the only house that knows how to play.”

“You’re being very open about it.” Colin narrows his eye. “Too open.”

“The key to doing illegal stuff is having a very much legal version.”


	41. Chapter 41

I ignore Dean’s look. “Yes, I pulled it out of my ass but think about it. The professors will become so used to the legal tournaments that when they overhear students talking about any competition they’ll immediately assume it’s the legal one. Hiding beneath plain sight.”

“Magicals are so used to watching only the surface and maybe a layer below that they forget to look underneath the underneath.”

“Don’t you fucking quote Naruto at me Dean.”


	42. Chapter 42

“Anyways I have to go. I challenged Justin to a game.”

“You did what?” Dean whisper-shouts.

Now it’s my turn to I roll my eyes. “I challenged him to a game. Win or lose I’m making Hufflepuff my next target.”

“You move fast.” Colin says.

I shrug. “I wanted more time with Gryffindor but fuck it I’m rolling with it.”

Dean sighs. “Get up your ass Colins. We’re escorting her idiotness.”

“Love you too Dean.”


	43. Chapter 43

I tap my finger against the wood. Dean, Justin, Emma, Charlie, and Terry were looking at their cards.

“Draw Two!”

“Fuck that! Draw Two Emma.”

“Jokes on you.” She dropped a Draw Four. “Sorry not sorry Charlie.”

“Naw imma have to pass. Draw Four Terry.”

“Two plus two that’s four. Plus two Draw Four. That’s twelve cards.” He looked at me. Ah shit. “Sorry Granger but Uno! Uno out!”

The MB in the hall fucking scream.

“Fuc-Fudge damn it Boots! Your effing dead to me!”

“How the hell did you have two Draw Four?”

“Statistics bitch. Sweet sweet statistics.”

“Merlin damned Ravenclaws!”


	44. Chapter 44

I have never seen Granger so mad. Forget Malfoy and Umbridge, she looked ready to kill Terry.

I discreetly fix my pants and begin gathering cards and wands.

“Let’s all calm down now.” I try to placate.

“Give me back my wand Colin. We’re having barbecued Eagle tonight.”

“I’ll hold him down.” Muttered Justin.

The muggleborns kept laughing and moaning their lost bets. The six had to reshuffle the cards three times before this round ended and boy did competition get heated as more upperclassmen walked into the Great Hall.

The magically raised were confused as hell. “It’s just a game.” One of them said.

Another muggleborns glared at them. “It’s not just a game. It’s UNO.”


	45. Chapter 45

Dean and I kept signing death threats at Boots. He was smirking until Emma hit him with a flying broccoli.  
“I thought you’d be happy to find someone as good as him.” Harry pointed out.  
“I don’t mind losing it’s the way I lost. Twenty cards. That bastard sent twenty cards at me. I demand retribution!”  
“Yeah remind me not to piss her off.” Neville said.  
Lavender shoved a chocolate bar at my face. “Don’t worry Hermy you’ll get the brainy bastard next time.”  
I take a bite out of the offered treat and moan. “Lavender I love you, you’re a godsend. I take back every mean thing I’ve ever said about you.”  
She giggled.


	46. Chapter 46

“Aww thanks Hermione but you don’t have to. I think the meanest thing you’ve ever said about me is calling me an airhead.”  
I sigh, thank god I hadn’t messed that up. “You’re the best Lavender. Help me dress to kill tomorrow for when I wipe the floor with his ass?”  
“YES! Parvati we’re having a makeover night!”  
“YES!”  
The two went off to their own world leaving me with the boys and Dean.  
“You know I’m coming with you.”  
“No way am I leaving my second.”


	47. Chapter 47

A thought comes to my mind. “Anybody got a glove?”

Harry cocks his head. “What are you planning Hermione?”

“I’m making this shit official.”

One of the twins transfigures a napkin into a glove. “Thank you.”

Taking a deep breath I walk towards the Ravenclaw table, glove in hand.

“Here to praise how awesome I am Granger?”

“No,” I say, “I’m here for retribution.”

I slap him with the glove. I hear _at least_ two people gasp.

“I challenge you to a duel.”

Now there’s more gasps going around the Hall.

Terry hold his cheek dramatically. “Is that so?”

“Miss Granger!”

“I accept!”

“Mister Boot!”

We both ignore the raging faculty.


	48. Chapter 48

“Tomorrow at noon. Bring a Second and a Third.”

I nod. “Justin! Hufflepuff is dealing!”

“I want anti-cheating charms.”

“Don’t worry they’ll happen. When I win I don’t want there to be any doubt that I won fair an square.”

Professor Flitwick reaches us first. “Alright you two break it up!”

“Yeah save it for tomorrow!”

“Mister Justin that’s enough. There won’t be any dueling happening in my watch!”

“But professor!”

“No magic allowed outside of classes period.”

The hall got quiet until someone said, “but… it’s just a UNO…game?”


	49. Chapter 49

“A what?”

I scratch my neck. “Err sorry professor but neither of us is stupid enough to have an actual duel.”

“Yeah,” Hermione pipes in. “It’s just a friendly match where I will absolutely wipe the floor with Boot.”

“You mean _I_ will wipe the floor with you. I’ve been playing UNO for years noob.”

“Wanna bet you overgrown chicken!?”

“Let’s go! Loser does double rounds!”

We shake hands. The teachers are confused. The muggleborns are hipped.

“May be the best House win.”


	50. Chapter 50

I flip my hair and summon the deck of cards. “Here Justin. The badgers can have custody till tomorrow. I don’t want to get accused of _cheating_.”

“You got it.” I start walking away. “And don’t worry we’ll host too.”

I look back at him and the two fifth years from earlier. “Don’t bother with a big thing. We need more time to plan.”

I sit back on my table and groan.

“I fucked up.”


	51. Chapter 51

“You don’t say Granger.”

I can’t see it but I know Dean is glaring at me.

I lift my head to look at him. Yep he was glaring. Ten points to Gryffindor! “No, I mean that I only have that one deck. I wanted to teach more lions how to play.”

Everything is still a go I try to tell him with my eyes.

He just snorts and stuffs a piece of treacle tart in his mouth.

Colin drops his head in my shoulder. “Yuuup. You really fucked up. Make me your Third anyways?”

“I fucking hate you Colin.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”


	52. Chapter 52

Dean and I slowly tip toe down the staircase. Hermione was already there waiting for us.

“This is happening a lot faster than I thought.” She says.

Dean puts up some privacy wards and explodes. “What. The. Hell. Granger! I though we agreed to take over Gryffindor before expanding out. Now we’re in too many places and still no people!

"Colin found out, then you challenge the badgers and the eagles. Now you have a duel tomorrow and no replacement deck. We're overextending ourselves."

She starts pacing. “That’s the thing. People started to notice too fast. We underestimated how bored people are.”

“Explain.”

She looked at both of us. “Two Hufflepuff Fifth years, Emma and Charlie, asked me what the hell was I doing heavily implying they want in. And Justin isn’t stupid. He knows something is up. And if Justin suspects…”

“So does Boot.”


	53. Chapter 53

They both look at me. “What? I’m a photographer. I notice this shit. And I can tell you they’re not the only ones.”

Dean slumps in his chair. “The question is what do we do?”

“You know what we have to do.” I tell them both. Yes, the timeline got pushed up but right now we could only roll with the punches.

Hermione rubs her hand over her eyes. “I’ll make the contract tonight. I’ll put the fear of god into them and then we strike.”

“Don't forget to get a goodnights rest. You’ll need it against Terry.”

“Thank you. And Colin?”

“Yes?”

“Make sure Dennis gets my good side tomorrow.”


	54. Chapter 54

Parvati was kneeling in front of me applying a second coat of lip tint.

“You sure we shouldn’t do something more elaborate?”

“No, no, no. We’re not giving those eagles the chance to say she distracted him with her looks. We’re just enhancing her looks.”

Dozens of girls were in the room giving advice or critiquing fashion choices. They all wanted a say and to have me look good for this thing.

“Angelina has it right. We’re only bring out what’s already there.” Everything else can wait till our celebration tonight.”

“Speaking of celebrations. I need you guys to do me a favor.”


	55. Chapter 55

Breakfast was a quick affair. The Hufflepuffs kicked out everyone by ten. Fred and George we’re out bussy doing...something and I had it on good authority that the Ravenclaws we’re doing something of their own. Slytherin just shrugged, glares, or rolled their eyes and left.

And I was in the library.

I had already skimmed the books I used last year for our contract. Much of the same except I used clear as rain language for the stupider ones who join our lot. The only thing left was to write in down officially.

It was go time.


	56. Chapter 56

“Welcome everybody for the Hogwarts' first ever UNO duel!”

Justin was standing on top of the Hufflepuff table with a sonorous charm activate. The House tables had been moved closer together to stuff in a round table for six.

“Today: Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor as Hermione Granger and Terry Boot duke it out for honor. For their houses. And for the chance to skip a patrol round! Now can the players please step up?”

Dean, Colin, and I stepped into the magicked ring with the eagles following suit. The anti-cheating wards went up.

“Here are the rules: you can drop as many cards as you want if they’re the same number or symbol. You can fight a plus two with another plus two or a plus four but you can’t fight a plus four with a plus two. You must have all your cards in display at all times. And here’s the fun part: you’ll get two cards if you commit a mistake so think really hard before you play ‘cause mistakes add up fast in this game.”


	57. Chapter 57

There were house emblems at the different places and the Houses were scattered around. Hufflepuff was taking the cheating thing seriously.

“Sleeves up people. We want a clean game.”

I make a big deal of taking off my robe and standing in my half sleeve shirt. Dean smirks and shucks off his robe and sits in a sleeveless tank top. Colin also takes of his robes and throws it over his chair.

Terry and his team take a more laid back approach to show the crowd they don’t have anything up their sleeves (literally).

Emma shuffles the cards and hands them out.

“Everyone ready? May the odds be ever in your favor!”


	58. Chapter 58

All six took a seat. I signal for Emma to start shuffling the cards. All eyes were on her but she kept a stiff face as she made sure the cards were fair.

She distributed the cards one by one and as soon as she laid down the center card all shows of niceties between the MBs in out Houses were gone.

"Everyone ready? May the odds be ever in your favor!"

(Most) everyone knew how the game was played. And Lee Jordan was eagerly taking bets from anyone willing to bet.

I wonder if anyone else saw how close this was to a gambling ring.

Oh well. Granger had to have everything well in hand.


	59. Chapter 59

Everything was not well in hand.

Lee Jordan was taking bets but I took him aside earlier and explicitly told him what Hermione would do to him if he took money bets.

Right now it still looked like yesterday’s game but if we didn’t start making this more interactive suspicion was going to spread like wildfire.

“How about we make things more interesting? I wouldn’t mind a date to Hogsmeade with a pretty lady on my arm?” I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively.

The Ravenclaw girl rolled her eyes and put down a yellow five. “Please it’ll take more than a card game to get me to go anywhere with you Thomas.”

“I don’t know man. He was good enough for _The_ Hermione Granger.” Said her fellow eagle.

Hermione smirks. “Let’s keep it PG for the kiddies in the room.”

“And our house points.” Mutters Terry.

“But in keeping it PG…did he draw you like one of his French girls _?”_ Colins asks.

Muggleborns started laughing.

Criminal ring in the making? Where?


	60. Chapter 60

“I don’t kiss and tell,” I start. “But I will say that Dean is a very talented artist. He knows how to use his “tools”. I mean have you seen his drawings?”

The older students snorted at the innuendo but most kept their smiles hidden from the faculty.

“So if we’re betting dates - were not! - can I somehow convince The Hermione Granger to take pity on me?”

Who the hexes was this again? “I don’t know. Can you make it worth my time? Maybe…take down Terry for me?”

I exaggeratedly bat my eyelashes.

The eagle laughed. “Sorry Granger. But I live with the man. He’d tear me apart if I betrayed him like that.”

“Damn it Granger stop trying to bat your eyelashes at my Second. Us eagles are loyal.”

“Can’t be blamed for trying to use all my resources,” I respond.


	61. Chapter 61

“You know that meme where there’s a house on fire and the dog says this is fine? Yeah this game is that.”

Someone had ended up adding sixteen cards to their deck. Terry has called out UNO multiple times only to be thwarted every single time and Granger had finally brought the game to an end by sending all the Plus Fours and Plus Twos she could at Terry.

I’m pretty sure she dragged out the game just so she could pay him back in kind.

Lee looked Dennis in the eye and said, “Dean got a date, Colin is doing a photo shoot for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and Granger annihilates Terry Boot and that’s the best you have?”

“How about "this house is a fucking disaster?”

“And this Katie is why you’re my favorite.”


	62. Chapter 62

When Granger started the chain of pluses no one thought it would end as bad as it did. But it did and Hermione looked pleased, like the cat who got the canary.

Emma has to budge me to remind me I was still on. “Winner: Hermione Granger!”

Lee Jordan and Katie Bell start whooping loudly and clapping all over the place. “Go Lions! Go Lions Go! Go Lions! Go Lions Go!”

Dean and Colin rushed forward to hug their smirking First. I climb down the table and force Hermione and Terry to face each other. Both smiled and shook hands. “Nice game Hermione.”

“Thank you _Terry_. But you know what would make it better! You, me and the next Hogsmeade visit.”

He winked at her. “It’s a date.”

Someone in the crowd starts whistling and they both wave. Then the twins walked in and the celebrations began.


	63. Chapter 63

Fred and George had been tasked to make a ridiculous looking crown and they were delivering. Sure it was last minute (really last minute) but nothing a little magic, transfiguration, and blackmail couldn’t solve.

The end result was (purposefully) badly crafted and (purposefully) smoked and (purposefully) stupid looking.

It was their best non-explosive creations to date. How best to declared yourself the Queen of something stupid then with a stupid looking crown?

Gred and Forge were mighty proud to put the too big crown on Hermione’s head while they each kissed a cheek.

There was mischief afloat and they would use her as their in.


	64. Chapter 64

The Ravenclaw prize was a pin circling between naming my name and the words the reigning UNO winner. They obviously took inspiration from Malfoy’s pins back in Fourth Year.  
The twins crown came out better than I had hoped and looked as childish as it should be. Childish prizes for a childish competition.  
When I looked at the staff they looked like they saw a friendly game between students and not a burgeoning illegal operation.  
My god were magicals easy to fool.


	65. Chapter 65

I leave my well wishers behind and walk to where Justin and Emma we’re talking. I had pressed a piece of paper into Terry’s hands earlier and Lee Jordan and Katie Bell had nodded at me. Now it was time to get the badgers on board.

“I want all the details on that anti-cheating wards. Which one of you did it?” I ask as my opening sentence.

“That would be me.” Well hello there Mr. hot stuff. “Michael Davids. Seventh Year muggleborn.”

I make sure to take my eyes up and down his body I’m obvious interest. “Hot, smart, and a MB? Good things do come in threes.” He smirks and kisses my hand.

“I’d more than love to show you how good I am, especially between the sheets.”

I smile but take back my hand. “Unfortunately I’m not here to make new bedmates. I was wondering if I could borrow you away for a moment Emma? I’m dying to get another girl’s opinion on something.”

Her eyes shined mischievously. Everyone knew I wasn’t one for girly things when they were things to be learned so I was pleased when she played along. “I’m always up for a little girl talk.”

I link my arms with hers and start walking away. “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”


	66. Chapter 66

While Hermione took Emma with her I slid next to my future Hogsmeade date. “I hope you don’t mind if we skip Madame’s Puddifoot?”

Anabelle rolled her eyes. “I didn’t agree to anything. Especially not with you Thomas.”

Terry had finished reading his note and nodded discreetly at me. “I don’t know Anabelle, give the man a chance. He did ask you out in front of the whole school.”

“Yeah Ana. Just give me one small chance.” I intertwine our hands and press her paper into her hand. “Trust me. I’ll make it worth your time.”


	67. Chapter 67

I was the only one without a target to hit but it was my responsibility to engage with people and get their thoughts on the game the bets and who was willing to dish out some coin.

Muggleborns and muggle-raised were pretty much hooked since UNO was a fan favorite and anything resembling muggle entertainment was welcome. Magicalborns had more reservations but this (very public) game showed there were no hidden tricks (that they could see). The biggest draw however had to be the purebloods.

They followed the game more intensely than anyone and had questions upon questions about what other kinds of games muggles had. Yeah they’d seen other non-magical card games but nothing with so many twists and turns.

Oh yeah, we had these people hooked. Hermione will be very happy to drain these poor people dry.


	68. Chapter 68

I wash my hands and dry them with a small wind spell.

“Isn’t magic so convenient?” I look at Hermione.

“Of course it is. Don’t tell me you still get surprised by it?”

“Of course I do.” She was touching up her lip tint with a new coat. “I’m always learning new things about what magic can and can’t do so I’m always amazed.”

The bathroom was empty besides the two of us. “Somehow I get the feeling you didn’t bring me here to talk about magic or makeup.”

“Jokes on you then became that’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. Have you ever thought about how expensive beauty potions are? And how many spells you need to know to get the look you want? All that work and I can do that in half an hour with foundation, eyeshadow, and contouring. Girls who were raised without magic have a much easier time doing their makeup so why not extend that to our magic-raised sisters?”

“What like gift them our products?”

“I’m thinking more along the lines of selling them the secret to flawless eyeliner.”


	69. Chapter 69

Dean threw a ball at the wall and caught it. Colin was messing around with the pictures Dennis had taken. Katie was flipping through a teen fashion magazine. And Lee was reading a comic.

I walk into the room with a briefcase transfigured to look like a folder. My steps were sure and even as I walked into the room.

I had slowly been commandeering the room since the beginning of term. With the use of the Marauders’ Map, the Room of Requirements, and smart spell casting, I was slowly building a network of interconnected rooms across the entire castle. Already three locations had been linked together to work as gambling dens and I had others in the works to be storefronts and bars.

The two eagles and four badgers arrived together.

The door locked shut behind them.

“Good evening everyone.”


	70. Chapter 70

I transfigure the only desk in the room into a high table and gesture everyone to stand around it.

“If you’re all here then I’ve contacted you or you somehow made your way in.” I glance at Justin and ignore his look of guilt.

“I’m warning you all right now. This isn’t a club meeting or even a get together between the non-magically raised.” I prop open my briefcase on the table and place down the first of the secrecy contracts. They look like blank pages but everyone knew how deceptive that could be.

The tension in the room increased and I look everyone in the eye.

“No one is leaving this room until every one swears this secrecy oath. You don’t say a word about this meeting. Not about who was in it or where it happened. As far as the world is concerned this isn’t happening and never has.”

“This is about yesterday and today’s game right?” Asks Charlie.

I don’t respond. “You’re in or you’re out. I will not force anyone to join me but this oath is happening whether you want it or not.”

Dean grabs the paper and signs. Colins goes next and signs. Lee hesitates but still signs. Katie rolls her eyes at him and signs right away.

“It’s fucking Hermione Granger. I knew not to fuck with her since her second year.”


	71. Chapter 71

Terry and Anabelle glare at me but sign too. Justin doesn’t hesitate and signs. Emma, Charlie, and Michael sign as well.

My signature is the last one to go on the paper. “This contract is bound by magic. You won’t be able to tell anyone what happened tonight. It involves illegal activity so if that’s not your cuppa I suggest you walk out that door and don’t look back.”

Katie Belle looks more uncertain now but squares up and nods. The Ravenclaw duo have a quiet conversation between them and Anabelle shakes her head. “I want to work in the DMLE. I can’t risk anything going on my record. I’m sorry.”

I nod at her. “You can leave.”

The wards raise to let her leave and with a look at Dean I point my wand at her.

“Doermus.”


	72. Chapter 72

Dean catches her before she can fall and sets her down on a transfigured couch.

“Thanks. I didn’t think it’d be so draining.” Anabelle says.

“What the fuck Granger! We signed your contract!”

Colin rolls his eyes. “Relax Mikey. It’s just the contract activating. You don’t see anyone else worrying.”

Just like he said the others were unsurprised by the chain of events. By leaving the wards the contract had been tied to, magic took part of her own magic to enforce the contract.

“Next time read what your signing stupid. Hermione wrote everything in clear english for a reason.” Dean adds.

Good gracious. You make things simple and they still blame you for their mistakes.

“Just escort her out will you Dean? Anyone else who wants out better leave before they get in over their head.”

Michael shakes his head. “No way am I staying here longer. I should have stayed away in the first place.”

“And that’s why you weren’t invited.” I say blankly.

With Anabelle and Michael out of the way we where ready for business.

“Welcome, everyone, to the Muggleborn Mafia.”


	73. Chapter 73

The concept was simple. Supply muggle goods to a lacking magical student population. We would run gambling rings, collect debts like people collected trophies and make a fuck ton of money off magical’s ignorance.

“You know this is less dark than I thought.” Lee slouched in the chair he had created.

Dean answers that. “Sounds like it on paper but are you prepared to beat people up if they don’t pay up? Sells alcohol to kids or supply under the counter medicine? If we’re not careful this can spiral out of control.”

“And we’ll want to control it. I have plans to be Minister of Magic one day and I don’t plan on dealing with an underage mafia ring when I’m in office.” I add.

“So you have an exit strategy before you even start. Smart.” Terry says.

I pour him another shot of vodka and let him mix it with his juice of choice. “It’s called being proactive. I plan to own the purebloods before they graduate school but even then I need to cover my ass to deal with the older seat holders.”

“I guess the next question is when do we start.”

“Now.” Behind me three doors appear. “I’m very proactive.”


	74. Chapter 74

The group of eight look surprised at the sudden appearance of the doors.

I smirk. “You guys didn’t think I wouldn’t plan everything through did you?”

“Hermione what the hell?”

Ignoring the doors, I grab Dean’s hand and push him into a wall. He passes through seamlessly like the train platform at King’s Cross.

I look at the rest of the group. “Let’s go UNO ‘club’. Our HQ awaits.”

I stride into the wall and into the secret room behind. Unlike the room outside this one had been meticulously cleaned and had a blown up map of the school. This map had secret rooms that the original marauders map didn’t have and had highlighted sections.

We had a center table with modern chairs and couches around it and extremely good lighting. There were different desks that were just waiting for their new owners.

And we had a snack bar.

“What the fuck?”

“I didn’t fucking stutter.”


	75. Chapter 75

“This will be our base of operations. It’s been warded to high heaven and will only be accessible to us. Not even the house elves will be able to get in so we’ll have to clean up after ourselves.”

Dean looked impressed but it was the kind of impressed were he expected something like this from Hermione. But me? 

I was rooted to the floor. This room was beautiful. If I didn’t know for a fact that I was still in Hogwarts, I’d think we were in muggle London in an office.

The rest were as stumped as me. “What is this map?” Emma asks.

“Map of Hogwarts. Pink spaces are rooms that I’m currently working on. Orange are danger areas like classrooms and faculty lounges. Blue rooms are the finished and if they have a red dot that means they’re connected.”

“Connected?” Charlie asks.

“You can travel from one room to another. Like the Floo network but simplified.”

“Jesus Granger you’re making ground-breaking discoveries and acting like its just another Tuesday.”

Hermione smirks. “Oh, I know Boots. I’m patenting everything after graduation.”

She looks at every single one of us. “Now pick a desk. We’ve got an illegal gambling ring to get running.”


	76. Chapter 76

We got our assignments right then and there.

Terry and Emma were in charge of finding sympathetic ears in their Houses and what they might be tempted by.

Lee would be responsible for tracking and collecting bets.

Charlie has to get his hands on as many potions as we thought would be useful.

Katie got stuck with enchantments and charms until we could recruit more people – or got the Twins working for/with us.

Justin and Hermione would be the public faces of the “UNO club” Justin more than Hermione so she could continue working on setting up.

Dean would be keeping us supplied.

I had the best job of all.

Recruitment and…

Spying.

Best. Day. Ever.


	77. Chapter 77

The nine students plotted, planned, and got to business.

Running an underground Mafia would be hard. There were people to be bribed. Supplies to collect and fools to be tricked.

The nine needed to get dealers, potion makers, enforcers, clients, suppliers, the whole works.

And the nine needed to do so under the eyes of the best professors in Magical Great Britain and not get caught.

No one ever said good things came easy.


	78. Chapter 78

The next day was a Monday.

Hermione hated Mondays.

She hated waking up to attend classes that she had mastered a long time ago.

She hated having to eat with people that called her a genius – for a mudblood of course.

But this Monday? This Monday Hermione fell in love.

“Miss Granger,” came the the screeching voice of the DADA teacher. “Perhaps you’ll would like to share with the class what has you so happy.”

“Just thinking about what joy playing card brings me professor. You learn the most curious strategies with every game.”


	79. Chapter 79

If I didn’t hate the bastard so much I would thank him.

Severus Snape was an inspiration to every Muggleborn and half-blood to bring down the entire blood system.

I sat down in the library and shuffled the cards. Everyone knew I was willing to teach anyone how to play UNO.

Now I just need to wait and see who flew into my trap.


	80. Chapter 80

The Seventh year boys slumped. It was my third win and even handicapped they couldn’t take me on.

“No offense but you guys suck.”

Someone snickers behind the stacks.

“It’s not our fault you’re so good.”

“Then get better.” I deadpan. “Or better yet play to win.”

I scoff and stand up to walk away.

“Wait!” A small -silent- tripling hex sends him to the floor. “Damn it. Granger wait!”

More snickering from the stacks as the boy kept making a fool of himself.  
I turn around to meet his eyes. “What?” I snap. “You’re wasting my time.”

The boy flinched but I simply hitch up my bag in a clear dismissal.

The poor boy swallowed hard.

It must be so hard for him to be dismissed after I practically treated him and his friends like kings earlier.

“We want to get better. We do! But it’s only been a couple of games. And it’s not like we can practice later without our own deck.”

I pretend to think it over and sigh. “You’re right. I’m sorry I was so hard on you guys. You look like you really want to learn.”

The boy perks up at my soft tone. “It’s-” I licked my lips and he stuttered. “It’s okay! It can be frustrating to teach idiots like us right?”

I giggle. “True but I can lower my expectations a bit. I do have more experience than you guys.” 

The guy’s eye stayed glued to my mouth as soon as I mentioned my ‘experience’. “Yeah. I wish we could practice more. Be more of a challenge you know?”

I shift my weight as if I was nervous. “I-I could give you my deck if you.” I stutter.

The guy’s face lights up. Sucker. “You’d do that?”

“Yeah. It’s the only one I have but if it helps you and your friends learn.”

“We couldn’t.”

“Then…” I look at him from beneath my bangs. “Maybe you could buy it off me?”

“Deal!”


	81. Chapter 81

I count the galleons I had accumulated over the last two days. I had sold my deck (then got it back) and then sold it and a couple more after my care package arrived this morning. The candy sales had also gone up as more lions bought out my stash. And not always for betting purposes.

Muggle candy was becoming a Thing in the house of lions and those that couldn’t afford it were a very small minority.

Thankfully none of the other MBs had thought to sell candy. Yet. 

Just a little more time and I would deal with that particular headache.

And if someone happens to be stupid enough to start dealing without me… I would not be the one to end up in Madame Pomprefy’s care.


	82. Chapter 82

A week into dealing with Hermione Granger and I learned she was fucking insane.

Somehow – fucking _somehow_ – she had managed to get a group of Ravenclaw Seventh years to bend over backwards for her. Yes I knew she had a couple of boys entrapped but the majority of the class? Like how?

Not only that but HQ had been updated to fit all of us plus more people I suspected she would bring in.

A potions lab had been retaken for our purposes and supplies had been flying in all week to get the place pumping out potions. 

Several walls had been taken up with useful potions and their instructions but the most glaring show of ruthlessness was the List.

It was on her wall for all too see and just like the rest of her life it was color coded.

No one knew what the colors meant and I don’t think any of us really wanted to know.

“Move it Dean.”

“Coming!”


	83. Chapter 83

Slowly but surely the mafia was taking root.

I could see it in the slight ruthlessness the students played card games with. Trace amounts of gambling addiction was becoming another Thing in Gryffindor and it was spreading to the other Houses.

Hermione’s Ravenclaw Seventh Year following became the Ravenclaw Upper _Years..._ followers? Groupies? Minions? Yeah that word fit.

_They had become her minions._

The magic-raised eagles chased after her like ducklings followed their mother duck around discussing everything from electricity to space travel. The non-maj raised were holding knowledge courts. A book trade had been started and I was just waiting to see how Hermione would tap into that. 

Surprisingly things had not evolved as fast as Dean had thought they would. We were getting more influence, yes, but something was missing to really light the fire to get everything in going.

I was both terrified and excited.


	84. Chapter 84

Cedric saw Emma nod at Charlie.  
Those two had something going on between them (and no, it wasn’t sex. Cedric knew what a sexcapade looked like) and as Head Boy he had a responsibility to investigate. He smiled at Cho even while he slipped his fingers under Combs’s skirt. It was fun to tease her under the table where everyone could potentially see. It’s what made it all the more enticing. “Marie,” I whisper in her ear.

“Yeah?” She said breathlessly.

I give her a blinding smile and caress her face. “I’m so sorry to ask this but would you mind doing me a favor love?”

She sighed. “Anything for you Cedric.”

Stupid bitch.


	85. Chapter 85

“God I wish we had curling irons.”

“I know right? I’m this close to losing it if this stupid spell doesn’t work.”

I pop my head in. “What are you guys talking about?”

Beatriz and Cameron look up. The Third years had a Witch Weekly open in their laps and a muggle magazine in the other.

“We’re trying time recreate this hairstyle,” Beatriz points to a very curly updo, “but this stupid spell won’t work.”

Cameron nodded. “Witches have their own curling irons but…”

Yeah, no self-respecting Muggleborn woman would hold that torture device to their hair. Who cares if there’s hair growth potions, no woman wanted to lose hair period. 

“There’s multiple ways to get nice curls,” I soothe them. “Have you guys tried asking your parents for non-magical products?”

“Our roommates make fun of us! They say muggle stuff is primitive!”

I snort. “Trust me, magicals need to put their faces under fire to make calls, muggles aren’t ‘primitive’.” I air quote. “But tell you what, you can use some of my products and try out your wacky hairstyle.”

“Really? You’d let us do that?”

“Thank you so much Emma.”

“Relax you two. It’s just girls helping girls.”

/

The two were highly praised when they showed off their new hairstyle to the rest of the House.


	86. Chapter 86

I nod at the first year Hufflepuff. “Now you’re getting it. Keep at it and you’ll be a pro soon.”

“Thanks Justin!”

I walk to Hermione who was cleaning up an abandoned deck of cards. “Why’d this one run off?”

“Idiot forgot they had an appointment with Vector so now I have some free time.”

“Great then you can play some poker with me.”

“I suck at poker though.” She whines.

I chuckle. “You can’t always play games you know you’ll win Granger.”

One of the magical students waiting wandered over. “What’s poker?”


	87. Chapter 87

Sitting at my table in HQ felt amazing. Right now I was alone in the room so I bring out the red heels I kept in my drawer.

I slip my feet into them and stare adoringly at my shoes. My first, and so far, only pair of fuck-you shoes made everything feel more real. 

I was actually doing this. I was actually creating a network for myself. Everyday more and more muggleborns joined us. Any day now we could spring into action and I would start racking in that money.

Hermione Granger would be someone again.

Not a bookworm, not the orphan daughter of dentists, not a pathetic muggleborn too smart for her own good. I was going to the successful, rich, and well-connected even before I graduated Hogwarts.

God helped whoever got in my way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just add some actual plot? Me? Maybe so.


	88. Chapter 88

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which no fucks are given but we learn some American history.

My heels clicked on the floor. I had conned the Seventh year Ravenclaws into powering my spells to link the rooms and create warding stones to prevent cheating and spying. (With a few workarounds for us to exploit.)

Charlie had a good stock of potions and Dean and I had bought plenty of goods to sell to the student population. Already some students were already buying snacks and drinks from us. Soon we would make it clear we were taking orders too.

Colin has gotten a few names to me and I made sure to check up on them to weed out the good apples from the rotten ones. Most had potential and I would start hard recruitment in the next few days to open up the MuggleBorn store.

When you sell people what they want and you’re the only supplier, prices become your own.

Entice their greedy little selves and then grab them by the balls and hold them there. 

Was I about to become a robber baron? Yes.

Would it damn my soul but bring me immense pleasure? Also yes. 

#yolo


	89. Chapter 89

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Repeat after me: beauty sells.

Katie and I nodded at each other. In front of us were tables full of makeup, beauty kits, and styling tools.

We had shampoo for every type of hair and magazines detailing the latest fashions in both worlds. 

The room has been transformed into a beauty parlor for tonight’s Quidditch party. All the houses had been united to get ready and two dozen MB girls had volunteered to help style the girls of Hogwarts.

“It’s almost ten,” I say.

“Then let the muggleborn beauty parlor open for business.”

“Welcome!”


	90. Chapter 90

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Uses the word like too many times  
> Also me: I'm calling the grammar police

The game was at four and lunch was at two. We had three hours to get dozens of girls ready before lunch and at least fifty after and that’s without including the volunteers getting ready themselves before the game started.

I watched from the shadows as the first girls started walking in and oohing and aahing over the modern look we had given the former classroom. The back wall had been transformed into a huge mirror and had salon chairs in front of it for the stylists to seat their clients in. 

The other walls had been turned into nails and makeup stations respectively with Katie and Emma manning the center table to check in the girls.

“OMG when I like heard you guys were like doing this I like couldn’t believe it!”


	91. Chapter 91

“We got inspired by some of our housemates,” Emma replies.

“Hello!” I say to the Gryffindor girl. “I can get you started with your hair if you want. We’re doing a wash and dry for 20 knuts.”

“So expensive?” Cries another girl.

“There’s no such thing as too expensive when it comes to looking good. But if you're not willing to play then please move aside.” I nod at the line behind the girls. “Some people want to get done before the next century.”

The girls in line nodded. “Step aside sweetie. I’m doing anything to get rid of these caterpillars on top of my eyes.”


	92. Chapter 92

I push past the first girl and shake hands with the next in line. “Hermione G, nice to meet you. Name and treatment please.”

“Irene and I’m dying to clean my eyebrows.”

“That’ll be five knuts.”

“Better this than that Daily Prophet trash.”

I smile. “Preach.”

One by one I sent girls to the volunteers. Some were scared off by the prospect of paying but others stuck around. I kept the ones not being tended to busy with the latest muggle gossip until it was time to check on the boys.


	93. Chapter 93

I straighten another collar and swat away the hand that was going to fiddle with it. “So help you God if you mess up that collar Kane.”

I step back from the beater and give him another look. Hermione had finally come over to deal with the Quidditch team after lunch and it had paid off.

Sure the boys had been put off by the idea of makeup but no one could deny how they all looked with a good layer of foundation and a swipe of mascara. The girls just looked hotter.

“Okay don’t move. I don’t care if this is a wizard photo I want this last picture to be perfect.”

The Ravenclaw Quidditch team was posing in front of the Eagle's bleacher section and looking damn good. “Okay. Three. Two. One. Say quidditch!”

The camera flashes and captures the moment perfectly. Kane had taken Cho’s right as her second-command and the rest of the team had been set around them. Not my best piece but a good picture nonetheless.

“And we’re done. I’ll have your picture printed by Monday.”

The team captain frowned. “Can’t we get more pictures? This is supposed to be a photoshoot.” 

“Tough luck Chang. I took individual pics and five team ones. And that’s after all the failed tries.” I resumed while packing my equipment away. I was done dealing with the Chinese-brit.

“There are no arial photos Colin.” She complains.

I roll my eyes. “If you hadn’t taken so much time to follow my instructions then we’d have time. But the game is in half an hour and I still need to get ready myself.”

“This barely counted as a photoshoot.”

“You want a better one you’ll have to fucking pay me, Miss Chang.”


	94. Chapter 94

I pucker my lips for Hermione who applied the last coat of lipstick. I was the last one getting ready and had twenty minutes to make it to the pitch.

“Don’t worry about smears. I charmed everything to be sweat resistant. And we’ll leave our bags in the locker room to deal with windswept hair before the party starts. You have your outfits ready?” Emma shoves a drink into my face that I take with pleasure. I had been styling hair practically all day.

I nod into the straw. “Yes. Angelina and I went down to put them away earlier today.”

Hermione braids one last hair into place and removes the towel from my shoulder. “We’ll meet you there and help you three get ready.”

“Four.” Alicia was also done with her makeup.

“What?” Hermione asks.

“Ginny’s on reserve so we need to get her ready too.” They both looked at her. 

“I don’t know how to do magical makeup.” 

Alicia waves her hand at us dismissively. “It’s fine. We already told her we’re getting ready together muggle way.”


	95. Chapter 95

Hermione looks skeptic but nods. “If you say so.”

They were the last ones to leave the room and Emma locked the door behind them. The two chasers had to meet the rest of the team and the other lions and one badger wanted good seats to see and be seen.

“By the way whatever money you guys made? Double it. When people see us at the game everyone and their grandmother will want to get ready here.”

Emma nods. “We know. It was costly to run with so low margins. We ran out of all the shampoo and conditioner faster than we thought we would.”

“Higher prices will mean you can get more and helps pay for the shipping costs.” Alicia adds.

“You know more about what it takes to run a beauty parlor than I thought Alicia.”

Alicia smiles and shrugs. “I want to own my own business one day. I consider opening a parlor to be a good starting point.”

“Then how would you like to run this one?”

“Are you kidding me? I don’t have the time with Quidditch and NEWTS.”

“Trust me Alicia. This is an opportunity you won’t want to miss.”


	96. Chapter 96

I made sure to flaunt my silky smooth hair to everyone that was watching. My frizzy hair had been transformed into smooth waves that definitely caught the eye of more than one person. None of the Weasleys kids were in the bleachers, all of them preferring to be in the thick of it rather than the sidelines.

I sit between to Neville and Dean, smiling at one and stealing the food from the other. “What did I miss?”

Dean steals his popcorn back. “Not much. Lee started introducing everyone and asking Katie on another date. Obviously she gave him the finger.”

Katie was at the bottom of the pitch threatening the announcer with her broom.

“Those two are going to end up killing each other.” I say.

“God I hope not. Lee is too good at what he does.”

Just like Dean said, I could see Lee’s underlings collecting bet money and taking last calls.

“Can’t argue with that.”


	97. Chapter 97

“You look very pretty today Hermione.” I look at Neville and smile.

“Thank you Neville. Are you going to the party tonight?”

The boy blushes and starts stammering. “Oh I don’t know. I’m not good at that kind of thing.”

I put my hand on his. “Don’t think like that. It might be better than you think.”

“Not when everyone thinks I’m just Fat Neville.”

“Why don’t I be your date then? You’re an awesome guy Neville and if people see you with me then others will notice too.”

Neville looked surprised. “You’d do that? But there’s so many other guys waiting to even get another look from you!?”

“You were my first friend Neville. I always treat my friends right.”


	98. Chapter 98

I wrap my arms around Neville. I always hated how low his self-esteem is and I was going to fix that. Total transformation, top to bottom. A gift to the first person in this damn school who never doubted me and reached out.

Neville always believed in me, I would believe in him.

“Neville,” I tell him, “I’m going to make you a _king_.”


	99. Chapter 99

Hermione spent the entire game time acting like Neville’s very sexy, very arm candy-ish friend. From hanging seductively from his arm to posing in the right angles to look her best. It was like a switch was flipped going from Queen Bee to Sinnamon companion.

The other students couldn’t stop looking at her hanging all over Neville. Hermione was at the game to see and be seen, that much I knew. But as I saw another student sigh when she flipped her hair back, I saw her smile for what it was — Hermione Granger was weaving her web tighter around the Hogwarts students. Neville was the unexpected focus of her plans.

_Come, said the spider. Let us play a little game._


	100. Chapter 100

By the time the game ended Hermione had planted the image of Neville as a king strongly in people’s minds. I mean, whichever guy made Hermione act like a supporting love interest had to be magic.

Hermione kneeled for no one.

She was as powerful as any witch would get in Hogwarts.

If she bowed her head, people noticed.

Harry was an Ace. He was the Boy-Who-Lived. Didn’t really live up to the hype but he defeated Voldemort so no one cares about his social awkwardness.

Ron was, at best, a knight.

But his influence was only due to Harry. He could only dream of Hermione lowering herself for him.

But Neville? Squib Neville?

Objectively speaking Neville Longbottom was hot. Or at least had the beginning promises from puberty to be hot. He was no academic slouch either. His pureblood upbringing only added to his regality. In the race of Hogwarts Princehood, Longbottom was a dark horse. Harry shined brightly but Neville could actually build a court.

Would.

Neville would build a court. Hermione would settle for nothing less.

“Don’t move either of you. Hermione, make your pose a little more dramatic. I’m taking a picture.”

“Thanks, Colin. My outfit shouldn’t be forgotten”

Click. Snap.


	101. Chapter 101

We all cheer when Gryffindor wins the match. Pompoms were shaking rapidly in people’s hands as the other lions around us practically yelled their joy.

Hermione smiled with us but was more composed. “I knew we were going to win.” She says.

Dean and Colin snort. “We always win with Harry as Seeker, Granger,” Dean says.

Colins shakes his head. “At least pretend to be a little more excited.”

Hermione pretends to look thoughtful but shakes her head. “Nope. I’m not interested at all in sports. This is as excited as I’m going to get.”

“Boring.” Another lion says.

“About as boring as your own sex life Jake but you don’t see me saying anything about it.”

“Oooohhhhh.” A couple of people say around us.

I stand up and offer Hermione my hand before a fight can break out. “You have other appointments right? Let me walk you there.”

Hermione blinks owlishly at my offered hand before breaking out into a blinding smile. “I would love that Neville.” She grabs my hand and I pull her up gently before tucking her arm into the crook of mine.

Somebody chokes on air.


	102. Chapter 102

I look around but Hermione pulls my attention back. “Colin is going to take some pictures of the Gryffindor team before they change out of their uniforms. Walk with me to the locker room, we still need to talk clothes if you’re taking me to the party tonight.”

“ _She’s going with deadbeat Neville?”_

_“Dude I don’t know?”_

_“Guess her standards are_ low. _She’s only a muggleborn.”_

 _“She’s probably just using him_ because _she’s a muggleborn.”_

The whispers grow louder and my free hand forms into a fist. I knew it. Hermione was just lowering herself. She would ruin her reputation by being seen by me. It was already bad enough that she hung out with me but taking me as her date-?

“And here I thought that the Slytherins had the monopoly on the color green.” Hermione “innocently” adds to the conversation. She smiles at the people who were just talking. “I also thought they were the only people stupid enough to insult my friends in front of _me_.” Hermione’s wands tapped against her blood-red skirt as she looked down on her minions.

No one had anything to say to that. Hermione was dangerous on a good day. Insulting her friends gave you a very bad day. Land-in-the-infirmary kind of bad day.


	103. Chapter 103

I give Dean a look.

Hermione couldn’t afford to go off right now. Still, he just smiled.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered, “Neville’s got this covered.”

And just like he said, Neville did have it covered. He grabbed Hermione’s hand and wand and pressed a kiss to it. “No need to lose control over mere whispers Hermione. Some people are just not worth it.”

As an intellectual, (and former Harry Potter stalker - err fanboy) I knew he was talking about himself. As an outsider trying to look in, Neville just destroyed them.

“Come on. We don’t want to be late.”


	104. Chapter 104

I let Neville escort me away from the potential fight but I made sure to remember everyone’s face who talked shit about my escort.

Talk shit, get hit was my favorite motto.

Neville helped me walk down the stairs which was really appreciated by my two-inch booties.

“Thank you for trying to defend me out there Hermione.”

“Of course Neville. I told you, I always treat my friends right.”

“But your reputation.”

“What reputation?” I ask him seriously. “Most people in this castle look down on me for some reason or another. It’s just recently they started caring. Why would I pick them over a friend like you?”

Neville looked so nervous and sad I almost felt bad for putting him on the spot today. But I knew Neville. He came with us to the Ministry and risked his life. He always stood up for what was right even when it got him laughed at. I would make it my job to have every single naysayer come crawling to him begging for forgiveness.

“Because you deserve better.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Then be better.” He looks astonished. “I don’t want them, I want Neville Longbottom, future King of Hogwarts.”

“You can’t make me into a king Hermione.” He says fondly exasperated.

I lean closer to him as we make it to ground level. “People said the same thing about a smart lion till I came around and decimated all the records.”


	105. Chapter 105

Hermione and Neville's exit set everyone's tongues wagging.

Was she really taking Neville to the celebration party? We’re they together?

What was up with her new get up? Where they together?

Was she really defending him?

Where. They. Together?

I shrug. “I don’t know. She’s always been a little defensive about him.”

I pack up my things and make my own way down the stairs where Dean was waiting with Dennis, Emma, and Charlie. “Took you long enough. The Quidditch team wants their photo yesterday.”

I roll my eyes. “Then the quidditch team can wait. I didn’t rush for the Ravenclaws, I’m not going to rush for them.”

“I do hope you give them better photos though. I heard Cho complaining about the pictures.” Charlie throws in.

Dennis and I look unimpressed. “We haven’t even started developing them so how the hell would she know what they looked like?” Dennis complains.

“I never said she was making sense.”

How the hell was she in Ravenclaw? The self-centered pompous little bitch.

“Hurry up Dennis. We’re taking the best bloody photos of the Gryffindor Team and developing them first to really give Chang something to talk shit about.”


	106. Chapter 106

I whistle. Today had been a good day for bets. Gryffindor was always going to win with Harry on the field but I’d never racked in so much money in a single game. Hermione was going to be a very happy witch.

Merlin bless that witch. People had never been so willing to part with their stuff till she started this whole underground. 

Money was about to start pouring in. I could feel it in my bones. 

"Here's the last of the money boss." Said some random third year I roped into helping.

"How much?" I ask.

"Twenty galleons all together."

"Excellent."

"But how much money did we make?" Asks another fourth year.

"You minions? A galleon each. Six galleons for the winners and the rest are for moi."

"But that's over seven galleons!"

I whip my wand between his eyes. "You should learn to keep your mouth shut little girl. I can do whatever I want."

She glares at me but nods. Lower years were so easy to scare.

I put away my wand and smile at my minions. "Look, alive people. We're investing this money. But keep your traps closed about that or the wicked witch of the west will get us all."


	107. Chapter 107

"You're late."

Hermione smiles. "Sorry I needed to put some people in their place. Where's Emma?"

"She's with Ginny." I grimace. "It's not going very well."

As if to prove me right another argument breaks out. "Stop pulling!"

"I swear to God Ginevra. Stay. Bloody. Still!"

Angelica and Alicia share a look. "I'm not dealing with that," Angelica says.

"You're the captain."

"Quidditch captain doesn't translate to babysitting."

Hermione sighs. "I'll do it."

She walked into the shower area and shoed Emma away. 

"Bloody pureblood bint. Should have let me use the damn conditioner." She muttered.

I pass her a dry towel to dry herself and focus back on my eyeliner. "Don't hold it against her all she's known in her life are magical products."

"Shut up Katie."

"Just saying."

Alicia pulled out the clothes we'd stashed before the game. Nothing too scandalous by muggle standings but Angelica did do a double-take.

"Those skirts are very...sheer."

I roll my eyes. "You can barely see your legs, Angie. At most, you'll only see an outline. Besides, it'll be dark at the party."

"You can always wear some stockings, Angie."

We argued over the whole stocking versus no stocking thing while Hermione dealt with Ginny's hair. I cherished the calm discussion before she came out and got started on our clothes.

"Merlin's beard! Hermione what are you wearing?!"

It was nice while it lasted.


	108. Chapter 108

I look at my clothes. Sure, my skirt was a bright red, but it went very nicely with my brown booties.

I pick at my shirt. “I knew the stripes were too small.” I knew what Ginny was alluding to, but I refused to humor her.

“Forget the stripes those clothes are too revealing!”

I roll my eyes and push her into a chair. “Relax Gin. This is the opposite of revealing.”

Emma laughs. “Better not got to muggle London in the summer then. Booty shorts will blow your mind.”

 _“Booty_ _shorts!”_

“Everybody chill. I’m happy with my clothes and that’s all that matters.” I make grabby hands and Emma passed me a comb, a brush, and a myriad of products.

Gently I pull Ginny’s hair back. “So, I’m thinking high pony with a big blow out.”

“What? No! That’s too much Hermione. You might be fine wearing muggle fashion, but I still have some modesty!”

I narrow my eyes. “Here’s a piece of advice Ginevra,” I pull her head back sharply to look her in the eye, “in the real-world people won’t care about the meaning of your words. They’ll only care about what you’re saying.”

I pull her head back a little more before letting go. Ginny winced and wisely kept her mouth shut. She knew I hated it when she looked down on muggles.

“Sorry Hermione, I’m just not used to those kinds of clothes.”

“Could one of you bring me Ginny’s outfit please?” I call out to the girls outside the shower.

Katie walked in and hung up the outfit we’d put together for her. It was a pair of black joggers with a flowy white top. “It’s a loose silhouette because we know you’re not comfortable with form-hugging clothes,” Katie explained. Ginny blushed harder.

I sigh. I really couldn’t be mad at the redhead. She was just a product of her environment. I squeeze conditioner on my hands and work it in. “You need to be more open-minded Gin. I’d never put you in an uncomfortable position.” I say gently.

“I know.”

“Trust me,” I say into her ear. “I’d never lead you wrong.”

Good thing I’m wearing a skirt and not pants today.


	109. Chapter 109

“We’re burning sunlight, Granger. Come out so I can take the damned pictures.” I shout into the girl's locker room.

“Hold your horses, Colin.”

“Then move it!”

Finally, the Quidditch girls all walked out with Hermione and Emma trailing behind them.

“Dean, Harry, I’m raiding your closets!” Hermione calls back as she rushes back to the castle.

Dean chases after her. “Don’t touch my good pants!”

Harry just shrugged. “Can you set out some clothes for me too?”

Hermione stops and gives him a _look_. “Duh, I’m not letting our star Seeker look like a slob.”

She disappeared into the stairs and I knew she would be raiding the Gryffindor Sixth years to get Neville looking the part for tonight. Never let it be said that Hermione Granger wasn’t above clothes robbing to get her way.

I waved to get people’s attention. “Congrats guys, you’re getting better pictures than the Eagles.”

Ginny smiled. Her hair was in a very nice braid-thingy. It swung behind her when she moved her head. “Well yeah, Gryffindor won this match!”

Dennis snorts. “That and Chang is getting on our nerves.”

“Oh boy what did she do now?” One of the twins asked.

“Looks like you won’t be taking her as your date tonight Harrykins.” The other one teases Harry who blushes.

“Shut up Fred.” He hissed.

“Pictures people I want those pictures!”


	110. Chapter 110

Hermione slammed Harry’s wardrobe closed. “Does this guy know nothing about fashion?”

Dean continued flipping through his magazine. “Harry wouldn’t know fashion if it slapped him in the face.”

“How can I make him look good if all he has are rags!?”

“Here’s a thought. Maybe, just maybe, you can use that stick people call a wand and transfigure some clothes for him!” He smirked at her. “I know, it’s such a revolutionary idea, please, there's no need to thank me.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“You haven’t checked my closet yet,” I interfere, “maybe you can find some clothes for him there.”

I stand up and open the doors for her to check to her heart's content. But instead of doing that, Hermione grabbed the clothes I had set out on my bed.

“Is this what you’re wearing?”

“Yeah is it okay?”

Hermione smiles. “It’s good but it can be better.” There’s a glint in her eyes.

“Dean pass me Harry’s black belt. The one that’s falling to pieces. I’m going to make a masterpiece.”


	111. Chapter 111

“I like love your nails.”

“Dude how the hell is your hair looking so good?”

“I can’t believe you went without me! Here you are looking so good, meanwhile, I look like a sniffler is growing on my head.”

“Bloody hell did you see Granger today? She was smoking.”

“How the hell did Fat Neville get Granger to hang all over him like that?”

“And she’s taking him to the party tonight.”

“Looks like she finally learned her place.”

“Yeah under us!”

"Omg, she’s taking Fat Neville to the party?”

“Those damned mudbloods have no sense of decorum.”

“They’re all sluts. Did you see how short those skirts were!?”

“I’ll never be ready in time for tonight.”

“Fat Neville!”

“Granger!”

“Hermione!”


	112. Chapter 112

Walking into the Great Hall for dinner tonight was an experience.

There were whispers _everywhere_.

Every step I took someone was mentioning my name, Neville’s, or talking about the MB’s looks.

There was anger.

There was disgust.

But most of all there was envy.

I hadn’t bothered changing out of my clothes as I strutted down the Hall confidently.

I know I looked good.

I know people were staring and whispering.

Let them say what they wanted. By the time I was through with them they’d all be begging to be me. 

I slid into a seat with the Quidditch team on one side and Dean, Colin, and Neville on the other side. The Quidditch players still had makeup on and the Twins played it up as much as they could. Where the Eagles had quickly washed it off, they still had a tint to their lips. Harry obviously hadn’t wiped the mascara off and his eyes popped behind his glasses.

“Whoever says men can’t wear makeup is blind.”

Alicia laughs. “I know. They all look so good.”

“They’re definitely getting laid tonight,” Angelica adds.

“That’s the only reason we’re still wearing it,” Fred says jokingly.

“Maybe Cho will forget her loss and jump into your bed, Harry.” Katie teases.

I scoff. “Please Harry can do so much better than Chang.”

“Someone sounds jelly.”

Every head around us turned to stare at me.

I burst out laughing. “Of who? Cho?”

“Obviously. You know she’s so much better than you.” The person continues. “She doesn’t need to dress like a tart to catch a man’s eye.”


	113. Chapter 113

I turn to look back at my friends. “Guys. Guys, I think she’s trying to _insult_ me.”

Dean facepalms. “Oh my god, Hermione.”

“I don’t know how to react. I am totally shook.”

“Hermione please, I am begging you.” Dean continues.

“I mean I just have no words.”

“I can’t watch. Someone tell me when the blood bath is over.”

I turn back to the girl. “Like, how do I respond to a fucking _background character_?”

“Things she did: that,” Colin says.

“Shots fired!” Dennis yelled.

“Someone better aguamenti that burn.”

“Oh, my what a lovely shade of red you got there Ms. Background Character. Maybe next time you should stick to your own cauldron.” I smirk at the poor girl and go back to my food like nothing happened.

“What?” I ask when people won’t stop staring at me.

“You’ve…changed.” Harry smiles slowly. “Just don’t try to challenge me for the Sass master title.”

“Sorry I no understand English.”


	114. Chapter 114

The rest of dinner passes calmly. People still hadn’t shut up about the MB’s new looks and I realized how desperate for new things the magical world was. Is this why women in the past gossiped and talked shit about others? Because there was nothing else to do?

Sounds boring.

No. We were going to do something much better than sitting around and spreading rumors behind (obviously) spiked drinks. We were big kids, we can do so much better than that.

“So, I know people are all over the latest gossip news but who’s ready to lose their hard-earned cash when Hermione finally starts challenging people to card games?”

The other eagles look at me like I was crazy. “You’re joking, right? Hermione isn’t that uncouth Terry.”

I smile widely at Cho. “I would say the same thing about you but word on the street is that you’re pissing off the school’s best photographers.”

“Whose side are you on?”

“Normally I’d say Ravenclaw but that was until you lot started harassing my friends over at the lions’ table.” I look at the girl who tried to pick a fight with Hermione. “She has nothing to be jealous _Miss Background Character.”_


	115. Chapter 115

"I can’t believe you’re siding with her instead of your own House!”

“When the world is against you Cho, you tend to stick to your people. And my people are muggleborns who won’t look down at me for being for not being magicborn.”

Background Character Girl (who from now on I would refer to as BCG ‘cause fuck her) started spluttering. “I’m not a blood purist!”

Okay fair, BCG could’ve just had her sensibilities insulted. “Then did you refer to her as a tart because she dressed differently from you or because you don’t like her attitude?”

“Her way of dressing of course! Everyone knows muggles have looser values than magicborns.”

I give her a look. “You’re right. You’re not a purist, you’re just a racist*.”

I quickly leave them behind and slide into another group of eagles like I was sliding into their DMs.

Which technically I was.

Rome wasn’t built in a day so it was time to get a-cracking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Racist: prejudiced against or antagonistic toward a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.  
> Ethnicity: the fact or state of belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural tradition.
> 
> Muggleborns are an ethnic group. They share a common non-magical history and background with many traditions those born in the magical world don't. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.


	116. Chapter 116

Dean looked discreetly around the Great Hall. Three out of the four Houses were practically vibrating with excitement. Slytherin was grumbling and rolling their eyes but every Third year and up would be at tonight’s party. Well, the unofficial party. Gryffindor would have their pre-party “party” to keep appearances up while some sneaked away to set up the real thing.

Look, when the most interesting thing to happen in this school’s social scene is a goddamned Quidditch party, everyone was going to be there.

Anyways.

None of the teachers suspected anything. Sure Snape would be an even greater pain in the ass for the next few weeks but so far there were no signs of them suspecting anything more than unruly teenagers tonight.

Which worked out fine for them.

Yeah, Dean thought as Terry tried to sway more people into our case, this was just fine.


	117. Chapter 117

There was yelling outside the door.

It was glorious.

Girls were running around trying to get ready in time for the party. (Which was 2 hours, 34 minutes, and something seconds away.) Everyone who had gotten ready at the MB parlor just needed to retouch their hair charms, maybe borrow a hairpin or two and throw on some clothes, but we were peachy.

Like yeah, I still needed to get change my shoes and add a jacket but I was ready. My nails and makeup are on point. My hair is straightened flat and styled. And my skin is silky smooth.

I ran my hand down my pants. God, it was sticking to me like skin and I was in _love_.

“For God’s sake, Em stop doing that or you’ll ruin the jeans.”

“But I look so good. I need to make love to these pants.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Tell me again why Granger lets you roll with her.”

I do a dramatic hair flip. “You know exactly why. I’m just that awesome.”

“You happened to notice her creating a drug ring but sure let's go with that.”

“Ah ah ah,” I chide. “We’re making an underground _sales_ ring.”

“Call it what you want but there’s still drugs involved,” Genova yelled out the bathroom.

“Literally nobody asked either of you.”


	118. Chapter 118

Dennis pulled up his pants and I rolled my eyes. “Dennis, Dennis _why_?”

“Did I ask for your opinion? No, I didn’t so shut it, Colin. You got your style and I got mine.”

“I can’t believe I’m related to you.”

“Go suck a dick.”

I hold my chest dramatically. “I dedicate my life to our lord and savior Pikachu and my own brother curses me out? In this economy?”

“ _Stop being such a Richard!”_

“I understood that reference! You’re quoting Batman!”

On the upside, comic books were becoming pretty popular but on the downside… “That reference is a reference.”

Damyscus gave me a blank look. “Huh?”

Leo nodded. “Reference-ception.”

“Speak English for Merlin’s sake.”

I give the boy a look. “So I’m sitting there… bbq sauce on my titties.”

Us muggleborn boys start crackling.


	119. Chapter 119

Eyeliner was sharp enough to kill a man.

Lips were painted blood red.

Nails painted in gold.

“Oh Merlin Hermione. You look…you look…” Parvati started.

“Amazing, awe inspiring, about to kill a man?”

“Yes, to all three!”

I smile at them from my mirror. “Thanks Parvati, you look good too.”

“Yeah but like not as good as you or any of the other muggleborns. I’d never dare to wear something so tight.”

“What if I had clothes that weren’t tight? Would you wear that?”

Parvati looked at me like I was crazy. “Uh yeah. You look fantastic.”

“Let’s see what I got then.” I start digging through my clothes. “I mean I could transfigure you something but I’d rather not take the chance. Besides I got a couple of dresses we can pair with some leggings or tights.”

Parvati points at something sticking out of my sock drawer. “Can I?”

“Sure. That’s where my tights are there anyway.”

I should order some non-western fashion catalogs. Could be another fad for magicborns to try.

Muggle fashion? Wild.

Non-western muggle fashion? Wild- _er_.

“Oh, Merlin can I wear these Hermione?”

Parvati was holding a pair of mustard tights. And then inspiration hit. “Oh my god, I can make you the next Blair Waldorf.”

“Who?”

“I’ll show you pictures later. Now come on, I know exactly what you can wear with those.”


	120. Chapter 120

“Isn’t this…too much?”

Dean barely looks at me. “Nah, you look great. Girls are going to be drooling all over you.”

“But it’s just a school party,” I say.

“Yeah a party you’re going with Hermione Granger.” Dean smooths out his cuffs before rolling them up to his elbow. “You’re not planning to embarrass her are you?”

“Of course not!”

A bottle of fire whiskey gets dropped in my lap. “Then drink some of that and sit. I’m doing your hair while Hermione does her thing.”

Ron snorts. He was flipping through Quidditch on his bed. “Please I don’t know what got into Hermione today but it’s not gonna last the night.”

“You say that but last time Hermione got dressed up you were green with envy.” Seamus snickers.

“She was dancing with the enemy!” The fingers moving through my hair give a little pause.

“And she looked amazing before you ruined it for her.” Dean shot back at Ron.

The bathroom door opened and Harry stepped out hair still dripping from dunking his head in the sink. “Are we still talking about that? It’s been years guys.”

Seamus throws a nasty smile at Ron. “Yes, we’re still talking about it. Apparently having her night spoiled is what put Granger on her more, ahem, _mature_ path.”

“If you’re going to talk behind Hermione’s back at least have the balls to say her name. Ron ruined the ball for her so Hermione made sure other people knew what he was missing out on.”


	121. Chapter 121

Watching Ron turn an ugly shade of red would never got old.

I stop fiddling with Neville’s hair so I didn’t accidentally pull too hard instead grabbing hair gel and a comb to style it.

“I don’t know why your so upset.” I say, “we all know you’re not good enough for her. I don’t think any of us are.”

If possible Ron’s face becomes redder. “Like hell she’s too good for me!”

I give him a once over. Unkept clothes, unpolished shoes, and had he even bother to wash his face today? Yeah no, there was no way Ron Weasley would ever be good enough for Hermione’s tastes.

I don’t say anything and get back to working on Neville. The real party would start soon and I wanted one last check in before the crowd started staggering in.

“Oi what is your silence supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want it to be Ron.”


	122. Chapter 122

Slipping inside tonight’s party was unsurprisingly easy. People had started to flock to tables and drinks were being passed around. My footsteps joined the others as we spread around the room.

_“Remember. We’re not here to cause a scene. Get people interested. Get people hooked. Then get the fuck out. We’re already attracting people with beauty and entertainment. Now we need to make sure they stay for drinks.”_

_“How are you even getting this much alcohol?”_

_“A combination of favors, debts, and_ magic _.”_

_“Cryptic much?”_

My destination was the drinks table, specifically an empty spot Dean was commandeering.

“Hello there miss. Can I interest you in a good fucking drink tonight?” He asks with a a glint in his eye.

“You take requests bartender?”

“Took a cocktail course over the summer just for this, Miss Ianthe of House Slytherin.”

My eyes glint back.


	123. Chapter 123

_“No one will be expecting alcohol. People have gotten used to the idea that Dean and I can supply muggle goods but no one expects-“_

“This drink is the SHIT!”

“Oh Merlin is she drunk?”

“If she is I’ll have whatever she’s having!”

I slam my cup down in front of Dean. “You amazing son of a witch. Another!”

Dean smiled and started reaching for a bottle under the counter. “That’ll be 20 knuts.”

“Come on Dean. Where’s your discount for friends?”

“You’re right.” The bottle was standing there tempting me. “19 knuts. Practically a steal friend.”

“That’s barely a difference.”

Dean looks at me unimpressed. “That’s your problem. If you’re not going to pay then move along I got more customers after you.”

I turn around and there people were beginning to gather around, some who I knew had their pockets lined with money.

“You stingy bastard.”

Dean chuckles put pours me a firewhiskey shot instead. “Move it Emma. I have to get to back to work, I have a family to feed!”

“That’s even worse than the discount lie!”


	124. Chapter 124

_“The policy will be simple. First drink is free, anything after that you’ll charge whatever you want.”_

_“Whatever?”_

_“Yep. Tell them you’re using different alcohols or that you’re running out. Hell you can say the moon is out of alignment, I don’t care. Just_ _let it be known that prices are fluid. Very capable of going up and going down.”_

_“Won’t that scare people away?”_

_“The poorer kids yes. But it’ll cause enough confusion that people will stop by to investigate either way.”_

_“And the firewhiskey?”_

_Hermione shrugs. “Use it however you want. We didn’t source it so we can’t put a price tag on it.”_

_“Yet. We can’t put a price tag on it_ yet _.”_

_“Now you’re talking my language.”_

_I raise my glass. “To success.”_

_She taps hers against it. “Cheers.”_


	125. Chapter 125

_“_ They’ll be downing so many sober up potions tomorrow.” The crowd was getting more unruly with every cocktail they drank followed by several shots of firewhiskey.

“You think people will start catching on when you start selling them out of your dorm room tomorrow?”

“Doubt it. They’ll all be too hung over to notice.”

Charlie and Justin stood to the side as students flocked to Dean’s “bar”. The two boys were each nursing butterbeers as the designated sober friends. Charlie couldn’t afford to have his mind foggy, not with the potions he still had to check over tonight. Justin was in charge of getting the group back to their Houses when the night was over.

“Besides,” Charlie continues, “it’s not going to matter for long. We’ll be selling them under the table during club hours tomorrow.”

“Damn I forgot Hermione had everything ready to go.”

“Yup. After tonight we’re just watching the money come flowing in.”


End file.
